Picture this: It’s middle school again. You are focused on getting good grades, starting to think about high school, and trying to fit in with your peers. This is the time when you are trying to figure out who you are, what you believe in, and who your real friends are. For some, it was a good experience, but for others it was not.
There was a girl. She was always being teased by the other girls in her class. They would criticize her for her good grades, her modest skirt length, her petite body features, and that she wanted to go to an all girls high school. In middle school…that girl was me. As a result, I have learned many things about bullying. Don’t worry, I am not writing this to repeat what everyone has been told over and over again about bullying. I am telling you from my own real life experience and making you aware of the different reasons as to the motives of bullies.
The first reason people bully is because they are jealous of other’s grades, looks, personalities, families, or friendships. Due to their jealousy, bullies put their victim down to make them feel bad about themselves, which makes bullies feel better, temporarily. Another reason is because the bully is insecure and wants to fit in with the “cool” crowd. They feel that by ridiculing someone, everyone will laugh and they will be considered “cool” too. Meanwhile, it makes the victim feel even more left out.
People who are bullies are those that have their own personal problems, whether it is in school or at home. They have an inner anger that they release on to their victim. They do not like seeing someone else happy, so they hurt them, pulling them down as well. Another reason that someone bullies is because they themselves were bullied in the past. They hide behind their past feelings, by hurting others and feeling that they have the power now. The phrase, “Hurt people hurt people” is a perfect example of this point. A person who has been mentally or physically hurt is more likely to hurt others because of their experience.
So many middle school and high school students are bullied into thinking there is something wrong with them, when in reality, the problem lies with the bully. People must learn to stand up to bullies and ignore their hurtful remarks. Obviously they are insecure and afraid of losing their popularity. Popularity gives them power and people with power will do anything to keep it. Just because you are picked on does not mean you are weak. In fact, it means you are strong enough that someone wants to bring you down to look as if they are stronger than you. Clearly, you are such an amazing person that others are jealous and scared that you will take their power. That is where the bullying comes in. The bully bullies you to make them look like they are confident when inside they are terrified of being called weak. They do not want to be rejected by all of their followers and are afraid that you will be the new “leader of the pack.” To make sure this does not happen, they make you look like you are the weak one instead of themselves.
The movie Mean Girls depicts the life of a new girl facing the wrath of drama queens. Viewers witness what bullying looks like from the perspective of a teenage girl. We see that the bullies are only worried about themselves and the way people view them. By the end of the movie, the bullies reveal their insecurities. The victims began to speak out and show the world that they will not back down or change themselves to be something they are not. Although some of the rude remarks are quite comedic, the point of the movie is to show us just how much bullying can affect our lives and the lives of others.
To all bullies out there: thank you, because you’ve only made me stronger. I’ve risen above the rude remarks, being talked about behind my back, the tears, the drama, being judged – everything! And you know what’s funny? I have become a much more confident person than I was a few years ago. I took everything you said and remembered it and, by remembering it, I figured out who I was and what I wanted to be. I took all of your negative comments, turned them around, and used them to become a successful and positive person. I now have AMAZING friends who I can trust, are true to me, and accept me for who I am. I am a very happy person now and I know that if fellow victims take my advice, they too will realize how unique and special a person they truly are. You are BEAUTIFUL. Never change for someone who doesn’t like you just the way you are. The people in your life that like you for yourself are the ones that really matter. But if someone does not like the person you are, then they are not worth your time. Believe me when I say this: your past is what makes you who you are. This will only make you stronger. Through all the confusion that results form bullying, you will find who you were meant to be. When you take all the criticism and reflect on what others say, you can turn those comments into positive thoughts that make you sure about your personality. Do not hide who you are. Instead, be proud because there is no one else exactly like you and that is what is special about each individual.
Always keep in mind, “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” -Mean Girls
