Growing up in the spotlight in front of millions of watchful fans can cause childhood celebrities stress, psychological disorders, as well as brief encounters with the law. In the industry of both music and movies, it’s simple; you either sink or swim. In our opinion, some celebrities are still on the boat, while others are at the bottom of the ocean. After much consideration and research, we are self-proclaimed celebrity experts. Since gaining our new title and all of its glory, we have made a list of the celebrities who are: chilling on a million-dollar yacht, those who are sinking with the Titanic, and those who are in the ocean with no life preservers. You’re going to need your floaties for this one!
Sinking with the Titanic-
Demi Lavato- Give it up sister! After the naked picture scandal, you became irrelevant. After rehab, you were a goner. You thought your hit song, “Skyscraper” was going to get your career back on track but sadly, that skyscraper was demolished. Don’t burn your bridge with Selena Gomez because after 13-year-old girls realize that Camp Rock! was mediocre, you will be just like the ones that came before you, i.e. Vanessa Ann Hudgens.
Kim Kardashian- You almost won our hearts with your hit reality show Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Hey! You were even somewhat okay after the tape scandal. We didn’t even hold you accountable for your father, the leading lawyer who kept OJ Simpson out of jail. But you have really outdone yourself on this one. A $2,000,000 event, your wedding ceremony was awing and beautiful; but 72 days, 3 different wedding dresses, and a diamond bracelet later, you decided to put a halt to this extravagant “fairytale” marriage. Are you really surprised that the public views your marriage as a hoax?
Lil’ Wayne- There once was a time when the majority of the American population lived and breathed your music. Even the mediocre songs that were nothing but you whining with an auto-tune microphone. Four baby momma’s and one jail sentence later, you are meaningless. Your existence in the industry has become more of an annoyance and less of an appreciation. You only make it worse by sporting Women’s leopard leggings at the VMA’s. Don’t be surprised when “Young Money” becomes “No Money.”
In the Ocean with no Life Preservers-
Lindsey Lohan- You were a childhood favorite when you starred in the re-make of The Parent Trap, and although you were the girl to hate; we loved you in Mean Girls. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and Freaky Friday became instant classics for teenage girls throughout the nation. With such a bright future and successful career lying ahead of you, we thought you could do no wrong. However, we had to adjust to a rude awakening. Being a childhood actress caught up to you and you are now on a downward spiral. We sympathize with you on the problems that you had with your father but that is not a decent excuse. Your addictions, eating disorders, and lack of moral behavior enraged fans who had been faithful to you since your humble beginnings. The lifeguard can not save you this time.
Snooki- You may believe that you’re on the boat fist-pumping and partying with no consequences; little do you know, the media will soon be throwing you out into the ocean. Your drunkenness, immodest conduct, and casual relations in Italy has made your fans embarrassed for you, in addition to making Americans and true Italians disfavor you. It pains us that young ladies who look up to you are under the impression that it is socially and morally acceptable to behave in a way similar to you. We hope you don’t mind your poof getting wet, because you are in the ocean.
Chris Brown- It pains us to say that you have not yet fully redeemed yourself from the Rihanna incident. We admired you, we were inspired by you, in fact we even thought that you were the resurrection of Michael Jackson; which is now questionable. Community service may have paid your debt to society, your apology may have paid your debt to Rhianna, but what have you done to regain respect from your fans? This is more then music, more then appearances, and much more then concerts. You’re going down and you can’t sing yourself out of this one.
Chilling on a Million-Dollar Yacht-
Lady GaGa- We question your music, your outfits of choice, and your music videos; but we never question your good spirit. You are doing wonders for those who suffer from discrimination. Your commitment to the youth is both inspiring and encouraging. You have unofficially taken on so many causes through your music. You’ve made a substantial impact on teens especially within the realms of bullying, suicide, and acceptance. Lucky for you the Paparazzi won’t be able to snap pics of your exclusive yacht. You go girl!
Nick Cannon- You’re a horrible actor, acting is not your strong suit. Hosting the America’s Got Talent…questionable; but your dedication to the redesigning of TeenNick speaks volumes for audiences everywhere. Your incorporation of service in stardom is an eyeopener for those of us who were unaware of the great impact service can make in the world. Your fatherhood to your two twins has inspired men of the African-American community to step up and raise their children and be excellent fathers. Although we are unsure if you can own a million-dollar anything, enjoy your theoretical million-dollar yacht.
Beyonce- Your work with Michelle Obama in the fight against childhood obesity was amusing. We looked at you sideways after it was reported that you accepted money from the Lybian Dictator, Quaddafi, but you remained in our good graces when you donated the money to relief in Haiti. Even when Kanye West embarrassed you at the VMA’s by interrupting Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech, you handled the situation with grace and elegance. Taylor Swift fans thank you. Most importantly, by far the biggest impact you’ve made on the world – you’ve shown young girls around the world that the way to maintain a relationship with a man is to first date them while you get your career on track, marry them when you think the time if right, and last but not least, having a baby when you feel as though you have done all you can and you want to give someone else the opportunity. We would love to be captain of your ship.
There are many more celebrities who belong in all off the categories, whether for their good deed, or their trashy behavior in public. Nevertheless, we cannot hate on these celebrities because they have one thing we don’t…money! Some through unorthodox ways, others because of their rags to riches stories. We challenge you to celebrate and support celebrities who are making positive contributions to society. After all, the celebrity who is chilling on a yacht, could so easily be thrown in the the ocean for the sharks.
